An emotional emergency is a sudden surge of intense emotional energy (adrenaline and cortisol) that produces threat signals throughout the body. Emotional emergencies occur in the absence of tangible threat–tangible threat being anything in our outside environment that is physically threatening. Emotional emergencies hijack the limbic centers in our brain, releasing a cascade of sympathetic neurotransmitters that flood the body with the unrelenting impulse to protect ourselves. This flooding triggers eruptions of fight (anger, blame, frustration, rage) flight (fear, anxiety, panic, terror), and freeze (immobilization, numbing, shut down). We feel emotionally overwhelmed and energetically reactive. Operating from our primitive brainstem (the survival brain)—the options are limited (fight, flight, freeze, or fawn). We are now in a trauma response pattern.
In Polyvagal Theory (Porges, 2011) neuroception is the term given to our internal autonomic surveillance system. Neuroception–operating under conscious awareness– gathers data from inside of us (our internal organs), outside of us (the external environment) and between ourselves and others (in our relationships) and moves us into and out of autonomic states (relaxation, fight or flight, freeze). It is neuroception that prepares the autonomic system to react when a situation feels threatening; it is neuroception that moves us into a protective mode; and it is neuroception tells us when the coast is clear.
Neuroception is built from our childhood experiences of “rupture and repair” with our caregivers. If caregivers were able to repair their relationship ruptures with us, then we were able to *co-regulate with them. When there is no repair-no co-regulation-children are left to handle intense dysregulating emotions themselves. “Shaped in an environment that is unpredictable and filled with unexpected events, an environment where you feel unsafe and unseen, neuroception is biased toward protection, which leads to a mismatch between autonomic states and actual safety or risk” (Porges, in Dana 2021).
This is the historical context for why we get triggered. It is a mismatch between our autonomic states and actual safety or risk. This threat detection system is primed toward protection instead of connection. When we are triggered, a trauma story is launched internally. We obey and believe that story, regardless of how the current situation may differ from the original trauma story. The story inside of us feels absolutely true, and it clouds our ability to shift our intensifying emotions. In her book “Anchored”, Deb Dana talks about how these trauma stories are created: “The brain takes the information that it receives from the body and turns it into a story to make sense of what is happening in the body” (Dana, 2021).
If we had too much overwhelming experience as children, and/or too little support, care, or guidance, we may be full of trauma stories. When triggered, it may feel nearly impossible to do anything else but what the story commands: Fight back! Attack! Run away! Fade out! Disappear! Collapse in terror! Hide in shame!
It is this interplay of story and underlying state that challenges our recovery. Once a trauma story is launched internally, our behaviors mirror old patterns of relating, i.e., feeling victimized. We lose the ability to see with clear eyes the actual situation we are in, and instead confuse it with dysregulating memories of childhood situations we were in.
To break these patterns of triggered responses, it is necessary to “bring perception to neuroception” (Dana, 2021). We must step back from the overwhelming emotion, the urge to react. When we can take a step back and witness what is happening in the body—the bond between story and state is loosened. In the moments between the physical sensations of overwhelm and the launching of our old trauma stories is the opportunity for perception.
Perception is an expansion of awareness. When we bring perception to neuroception, the internal alarm bells can stop ringing. We can breathe more deeply as feelings of danger recede. We can now turn toward our internal emotional experience and offer care and compassion to the parts of us that are/were so emotionally reactive. It is helpful sometimes to talk to those parts that are frightened or angry “I’m sorry that happened to you—I’m here for you.” This further calms our autonomics.
By tending to our own feelings when in an emotional emergency, the emergency can resolve. As the intense energy abates, a welling up of grief often follows. When we can allow that grief to come up from within, and out through our tears, we have released the story and the emotions that were contained within that story. Humans release cortisol—the fight or flight neurotransmitter that is the primary driver of emotional emergencies—through crying. The release of cortisol through tears can balance our nervous system, and restore us to parasympathetic balance, or ‘rest and digest’.
In sum, the ability to accurately perceive danger in the environment comes out of our childhood experiences of emotional safety and repair. When there is no repair, patterns of misperceiving threat abound. Instead of desiring connection with others, we build walls that keep others out, because our faulty threat detection system (neuroception) says people are threatening. Our nervous system becomes wired for protection instead of co- regulation; in this state it overemphasizes threat and under recognizes safety.
In order to bring perception to neuroception, we have to interrupt the practiced sequences of state and story. Here are some of the steps we can take to bring perception to neuroception.
- Notice if emotions suddenly run high or if you are becoming emotionally overwhelmed (you are triggered and in an emotional emergency).
- Move away from interpersonal interactions (unless they bring safety) in order to focus on what is happening inside of you. If you are in a group, excuse yourself for a break.
- Now that you have created a little safety, look inside, and see if you can step back just a little from the emotions inside—feel your awareness decoupling from the intense emotion. Sometimes it is helpful to physically take a step back. You are not trying to get rid of the emotion, you are trying to witness your emotions without judgement. Breathe deeply as you move through these steps, to further establish safety.
- Bring perception to neuroception by expanding your awareness of the current situation vs the old trauma story. Ask yourself a few questions, like “is this old story factually true in this situation?” “Where is my data about this?” “Is this the same story or does it just FEEL like the same story?” Offering these questions with curiosity and compassion, not anger or judgement, further dissolves the bond between state and story.
- If you are still feeling intense emotion, you may need to do a brief body-based intervention such as EFT Tapping (see this website) or Deep Pressure Touch (see this website)
- As we bring perception to neuroception, we may feel our emotions shifting into grief. Allow yourself to grieve and release this old emotion.
- Throughout this process, asking for assistance from a higher power is extremely helpful.
* “The process through which children develop the ability to soothe and manage distressing emotions and sensations from the beginning of life through connection with nurturing and reliable primary caregivers.” https://www.complextrauma.org/glossary/co-regulation/
Books
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Dana, Deborah A. (2021). Anchored, How to Befriend Your Nervous System Using Polyvagal Theory. Boulder, CO: Sounds True
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Dana, Deborah A. (2018) The Polyvagal Theory in Therapy. New York, NY: Norton
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Porges, S. W. (2011). The polyvagal theory: Neurophysiological foundations of emotions, attachment, communication, and self-regulation. New York: W.W. Norton