“The real voyage of discovery consists, not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.” –Proust—Remembrance of Things Past*
In the time of the virus, our usual mode of life –busy, stressed, productive—is not a reasonable option. We cannot push the virus into the past, nor can we prevent it from impacting every part of our life; rituals and celebrations like graduations, weddings, reunions with loved ones. We cannot plan on the virus cooperating with our individual or collective demands any time soon. What can we do about it?
Grieve the losses. Grieve the dreams, plans and visions about how life would be going right now. Grieve those losses, then learn to live one day at a time.
This foundational recovery axiom focuses on what we can control: this day, this hour, this moment: AKA the present. When we live in the present, we can receive energy from life—the silent necessities of beauty, warmth, and wholeness. In the present we can receive gifts from the life outside of us (a sunset, a smile) and the life within us (our lived experiences of love and care). If we are not preoccupied by either the past or the future, we become capable of seeing and responding to what is happening right now. We can notice when we are drifting out of our own lanes, and get back into our lanes and our lives.
When we mentally inhabit either the past or the future, the gifts of presence and receptivity are fleeting:
- When we internally inhabit the past, we are often lost in rumination that leads to resentment/shame or despair. Depression is often the result, accompanied by hypercritical judgements of others or self.
- When we internally inhabit the future, we are “out of control with being in control”. We may try to control other people or their reactions. Chronic fear and dread accompany this futurizing: hope and trust are drowned out.
Most of us mentally and emotionally inhabit the past or future. Highly sensitive people develop habits– like excessive productivity–that take them away from the present moment. If being present flooded us with too much emotion, being busy and preoccupied was a protection.
We can rewire our brains for more presence, which has myriad positive health & mood effects. When we are present focused, we feel safe and connected.
Daily Practices: Ways to Rewire the brain for more presence
- A 10-20 minute daily meditation/listening practice
- Yoga, Tai Chi, Qigong build presence through intentional focused movement.
- Creative expressive arts – painting, music, dance builds presence through creative flow.
- Play – in a swing, in the sand, on a bike or at the kitchen table – engagees presence through imagination and proprioception.
- Laughter: Laughter Breaks Trauma’s Spell
- Vigorous Movement—especially outdoors—greatly increases circulating endorphins which put us in our ‘rest and digest’ parasympathetic nervous system.
- Social connections that nurture you, writing letters to people you care about, sharing something about yourself with a person that you trust.
- Self-compassion when life is rough, when things don’t go your way, or when you have let someone down or messed something up. Be kind to yourself. Give yourself support instead of shame. www.selfcompassion.org
…To see a World in a Grain of Sand
And a Heaven in a Wild Flower,
Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand
And Eternity in an hour.
~ William Blake, from Augeries of Innocence ~