In my last newsletter I talked about catastrophizing. Catastrophizing is launched when we are deeply physiologically fearful. Below are 3 ways of spending time that can help calm those primal, deep limbic fears that are triggered by the uncertainty from COVID-19.
PLAY
Remember what you liked to do as a kid. Color? Fly kits? Catch bugs? Blow bubbles? Paint? Get out those cards and board games. Turn on the music and have a dance party, bake something from your childhood, or plant a garden. Set up a ‘camp’ in the yard, and spend your days as much as possible outdoors (if that’s your thing), or build a fort indoors. Play has few ‘rules’, and the best play engages active imagination– like laying in the grass looking at the clouds. It deepens awareness and keeps us present-focused.
TOUCH/DEEP PRESSURE
I have been lying outside in a hammock recently; the rocking motion is soothing. In a swing or a hammock, you are self-administering a kind of touch, a vestibular and proprioception “touch”. Rocking rewires your sensory brain, so set up a swing. Dancing is another kind of powerful touch, your feet are touching the earth. Just lying in the grass and letting ourselves sink into the earth, or floating in the sea, can awaken our felt sense–helping us stay grounded in the body. If you’re a parent, hug your children often these days, give them a bear hug or a squeeze on the shoulder if they will allow it. Most of our kids need calming right now in their deep limbic system. Touch is the most regulating thing we can offer them.
HEAVY WORK
The term “Heavy Work” comes out of Occupational Therapy. It describes types of motor activity that increases proprioceptive input –messages coming from our joints to our brain that help us know where we are in space: it calms the nervous system. Heavy work came out of Autism studies, but it is applicable to all children and to adults. For example, weighted blankets give proprioceptive input, and help calm the bodymind. Check out this website for a list of heavy work activities.
Safety is in the body, not in the story.
Mentalizing future stories triggers internal freezing = feelings of danger, the story creating more catastrophizing.
Felt sense is present and embodied= feelings of safety, grounded-ness, and calm.
Being more embodied means you will feel your emotions. Grief may appear, as may other important feelings like pain, loneliness, guilt. Expansive feelings like gratitude, forgiveness (a great idea now), a desire to let go and simplify, or help others in ways you have not felt before, may also show up. You may desire a relationship with a higher power, feeling a kind of spiritual longing.
Whatever comes emotionally, try to welcome it with ‘kind curiosity’ as Gabor Mate says, saying to yourself. “wow… isn’t it interesting I’m feeling so _______ (feeling word)… I wonder what that’s about…” If emotion is overwhelming, see video about ‘tapping’, below.
You do not need to know ‘why’ you are feeling something in order to allow yourself to feel it.
Resources
- Center for Mind Body Medicine: Mobilizing the Healing Power of the Mind (free workshop)
- Brene Brown: Brene Brown Podcast
- Brene Brown: Brene interview with David Kessler on grief
- The Science of Well Being – Yale’s online course now offered for free
- Jonice Webb: 7 Reasons Some People Actually Feel Better and Happier During the Pandemic
- Deepak Chopra and Oprah: 21 Day Meditation
- For Parents – The Atlantic’s Dear Therapist: What’s Your Advice to Parents Whose Kids Are Stuck at Home During the Coronavirus Lockdowns?
- Zero to Three: Tips for Families: Coronavirus
- Integral Life: Inhabit Your Quarantine